I'm 28

Ok, so my birthday just passed. I'm now 28. A stupid place to post my personal benchmarks, but i'm 196cm (6'5") and 99kg (about 218lbs). Lost alot since i gained alot but not at where i want to be.
So my plans on writing about my daily life here has pretty much fallen through the pooper. I will probably regret it 5 years from now when i'm thinking, what did I do when i was in korea for a year? I know I had fun but damnit now. I didn't write down the fun details. But at this point I am just in zen and enjoying what I can, learning the language and living life. I will probably write some at some point. But now is not the time.
Anyway... On a completely different topic, I've been thinking about when I get back. I know my options. But among them is a more organized and back in business me. And with those plans comes an organizer. A PDA. when I was last organizing my life, I went with a zaurus which is a linux PDA. It was kind of nice to me because it ran linux and I thought, hey i can make programs for it. That's all great but in reality i never got to programming for it and the Personal information manager (PIM), i.e. address book, to-do list, scheduler, etc, was sub par. open source or basic at best.
Before I had the zaurus, I had a palm pilot which was very nice when i had used it. But I gave that to my mom. Plus times have changed. Now I'm leaning back toward the palm pilot. It had a good PIM system and it was easy and fairly stable.
But now my dilemma is this... Should I go with an all in one palm pilot cellphone? I could have my address book, and everything along with phone calling. I would always have it on me and be able to access all of my organizing information. On the other hand, I couldn't just dilly dally with it in my pocket. it's pretty small but the screens and buttons are a little exposed.
On the other hand, I could get a regular PDA and then a different cellphone of my choice. I would have the cellphone for calling and my pda for everything else.
In this case it would be easy for me to go rollerblading or whatever with my cellphone in my pocket and not worrying about the screen or anything. And for that matter I could switch between service providers and not worry about having extra baggage on my PDA (i.e. a smaller screen and an antenna).
This isn't exactly a life threatening decision. Both are pleasant thoughts. If I was given either choice, I would be happy with my life. But the decision is difficult nonetheless. comments are welcome, but i've pretty much laid out the pros and cons already. it's just deciding which is better.
At this point i'm leaning towards seperate set so i can switch between service providors and use the pda regardless. but i'm also very tempted by an all in one device that i can just have my pda with me at all times and just happen to make calls from it... oh decisions decisions...

day to day stuff

So I was thinking I would catch everything up and then start writing all the things that happen to me in day to day life. But then I find myself caught up living it and not having the motivation to write about what's happening to me. My life goes through the interactions, feelings and thoughts. but my mind is on other matters: Language, love, future, etc. At any rate, now I'm thinking about getting around the city. I'm thinking about getting a scooter motorcycle. I can get a used one for about 500 bucks. My friends tell me it's very dangerous. There are alot of motorcycle deaths here. The driving is very crazy and traffic rules aren't really enforced. sometimes people drive through red lights, etc. they do have blocks on random spots some nights and they breathalize every driver who passes. but normal driving isn't very controlled. on the other hand, scooters drive on sidewalks. and there are quite a few small streets that cars can't fit. This is the bike i'm most likely to get right now if i can get my korean licence before it's sold (it's a used bike).
http://www.passo.co.kr/bike/main.php?job=mall>c=scoot&artpp=50&cpage=13&gi_code=8843&fq=%2Fbike%2Fmain.php%3Fjob%3Dmall%26gtc%3Dscoot%26artpp%3D50%26cpage%3D13

I'm up and down about my job. Some of the classes are crappy and the kids are obnoxious and spoiled. Some of the students (especially the older ones with little english skills) don't want to learn english and are annoying. And the school is really unorganized. For example, I'm supposed to prepare some tests from some of the books. And instead of having a list for the books and pages to prepare, I have to look through the syllabi of all the classes and find out the pages. The tests are due tomorrow and just tonight, by double checking, I found out i have to prepare 2 "comprehension" tests, which i was told i had to prepare one. I was kinda pissed. But so it goes. I can stand it. I have a new coworker too. He's from england although he grew up in australia. but his parents are scottish. And he's married to a girl who's turkish. talk about a mixture of european countries. They dont know much about korea so I'm trying to show them what I know. I don't want to sound like a know-it-all but I also like the theory that the one who learns the most is the teacher. If I teach what I know I will verbalize it and reteach it to myself and grow my knowledge. It's like seeing a movie a second time.

On the girl front, things fell through with that bartender. She's busy with school and our language barrier was too high. I want to learn korean and she kinda wants to learn english, but with her school work it was tough to have a meaningful relationship. and human emotions/relationships are ona different speed than communication. At any rate, I'm enjoying learning the language and not too worried about meeting anyone right now. Just getting more friends and learning the area and language. Eh. Nothing really interesting to write, just thought I would update with something.

late update

Sorry that it's been so long since I've updated. Time flies and the motivation just lacks. I haven't gotten the chance to take alot of pictures either. But I will do a recap of the past month.

So the next weekend, I hung out with my friend Jewel who picked me up. We were going to go shopping and then do a little drinking. I got some much needed stuff like hangers, a clothes drying wrack (no dryer), a clothes hamper, broom, etc. We ended up staying too late and he had to get up the next morning so we skipped on the drinking. Saturday, I went out again. I don't remember what, where or with who though. Maybe I will update this entry later if I remember. Sunday I got together with Nara again and met a friend of hers. He was a pretty nice guy and wants to learn english. I have since met quite a few people through him and it has been a very good thing to have met him. I had a good time hanging out with Nara, her friend HyoungJun, and I got to see the area where Nara lived.

Teaching kept getting easier and I've gotten pretty used to it. Sometimes the school is unorganized and the director isn't fluent enough at english to really understand what I and the canadian teacher try to tell her sometimes. I can get a little trying. But life is going on.

The next weekend, I met up with 4 friends that I met in California. We went to a snowboarding resort one night. It was actually pretty neat. I guess it's like a 24 hours per day type of place. I got there with one of the friends about 11pm and had trouble finding boots and a board that was the right size. It brought up an interesting difference between Korea and US. We had to go to a shop off the resort to find a bigger board and boots. We came to a shop that had one pair of boots that fit me and they had never been worn. And I got the longest board and we spent over an hour as the guy took apart and put together bindings again so they would fit the boots and board. He was surprisingly nice about it. Financially it can't have been worth it, cuz the rental for the board, boots and snowboarding pants was only 15 bucks total. But he worked on it until everything was good. So I ended up getting on the hill about 1:30am. Then we snowboarded until about 4am. I had a surprisingly lot of fun. It was a decently sized mountain and I really enjoyed it. It was really good to see my friends again. One of them is getting married this month. On a side note, it's crazy how many people around me are getting married and or having babies in Korea and the US.

I met Hyoungjun weekdays and met friends of his during the weekdays and on saturdays following that weekend. I met some of his friends, colleagues, an acupuncurist and a wine bar owner. The acupuncturist, younguk, has alot of friends as well. Through him I met an actor who's been in a few movies.

A few weeks ago, I was invited by Younguk to go to a bar that he likes. He said there were some girls who wanted to learn english. I was tired and just getting ready for bed, but I thought why not. I might as well meet as many people as I can. So I went over there and met up with him and talked with the girls. One girl especially was standing closest to me (from behind the bar, because they were bartenders there). She asked me some questions and we had a little conversation. We ended up exchanging numbers and then I went home. To be continued...

My First Weekend in Korea

So Friday, I walked to school and began in the morning. This time, I had to teach in the morning, which is all kindergarten. It was actually kind of fun with the little kids. Michael, the Canadian teacher, asked me what I was doing Friday night. I had plans to meet with Nara, my exgirlfriend. I told him I was going to meet with a friend and he said he was going to Itaewon, which is a popular area for foreigners, with some friends. He invited me along and I said I would ask my friend. I asked Nara but she wasn't too keen on going, but thought I should hang out with Michael because it would be good for me to make some friends here. I agreed so I told Mike that I could go. We went over to his place after work and had some beer and soju (a korean alcohol). I met Mike's wife and a few other Canadian english teachers. We drank for a while and then went over to Itaewon. On the way, I talked to Nara and we decided to meet after all. I also called my friend Jinu and he was able to meet me in Itaewon. I met Nara first and it felt really good to see her again. Actually too good. We walked over and met Jinu, which it was also really great to see. All together we walked over to a bar and had a few more drinks. Then we went to another bar and more drinks. At this point I was kinda drunk and we all had a fairly good time. Jinu, Nara and I made our separate way from the Canadian crew and took a taxi back to my area. We stopped at a nice outdoor grilling restaurant. While we were there, we hung out, talked, and some korean girls (actually one girl, of the 2 there) flirted with me. We all took some pictures and finally left. The rest of the night was not too eventful. We said our goodbyes, I gave them some gifts that I brought and then went to sleep.

On saturday however, I had to go to school so I could talk to the director about the school curriculum. We had some lunch, talked about school and looked at another apartment because my apartment is so small and she worried about how big I am.
Afterwards, my friend, Jewel, who picked me up from the airport, picked me up from the school and we did some shopping. I was able to get a power converter so I can ushyeeee my laptop, internet phone, and alarm clock.

The First Day

So I arrived in Korea on Wednesday night and was picked up by my friend. I got through the customs with Isis very easily, so I was pleased. Then I found out that the school director would pick me up about 2pm. I got a few things to eat and saw my apartment. The apartment is very small, even laughably so. But I think I can live here without going insane.


Or at least I hope...

Anyway, on Thursday, I was picked up at 2 by the director and taken to the school by the bus. (By the way, the director's father drove the bus. And the director's mother helps with the cooking for the students.) So I got to the school and met the two korean teachers, and the one english teacher from Canada. Michael, the Canadian teacher, walked me around the different classrooms and showed me the schedules and how to see what they would teach in each class. Then he told me the big news. I wouldn't actually have any training. I started teaching in 20 minutes. Actually I was kind of apathetic about it. I just said ok, and tried to teach as well as I could.
After the end of the day, the director and one of the teachers walked me back to my place to show me how to get to it from school. The director turned around to go back to the school and the teacher walked me the rest of the way to my place. I showed her my cat and apartment for a few minute and then walked her to the subway.

The Flight

I finally left. I packed all night and got some questions answered. My friend Jewel really wanted to pick me up, so I told the recruiter who was going to pick me up. He didn't have a problem with it at all. I would bet he was even happy about it. How fun is it to drive out to the airport? Anyway, I guess I also got an offer to get a ride from my friend Nara and her friend earlier but I said I was getting the ride from the recruiter. I figured the recruiter would cover all the grounds with me, but he said he would just take me to the school and motel. I'm going to stay at a motel room the first night because the old teacher is still in the apartment. Then I'll move in on Thursday night. The recruiter told me I should go to the school about noon.

I called the airline and my tickets were all in order. For international trips, they allow up to 70 pounds for each bag. But both were about 73 – 75 pounds. The lady asked if I could transfer all the weight into one bag to save money. But then when they looked it up, it was going to cost the overweight cost times 3. so the total was going to be 220 for the overweight bag. They said i was allowed two carryons, not including the cat, so I took out my day bag and filled it with books, and it worked nicely. A pain in the butt to carry around, but it worked. Then I got to Portland, Oregon. The first leg of the flight was with Alaskan airlines. But the rest was with Northwest. So when I got to the gate, I talked to the front desk because they said only one carry on was allowed. Then the lady said I was supposed to pay 80 bucks for the cat cuz it was a different airline than alaskan. But I told her the northwest rep told me i only had to pay alaskan and i was set. After a little bit of arguing and looking up info in their manual, they found out there's some deal with alaskan where they partner, so I got away with the 2 carry ons and the pet without paying. So here I am. I'm really on my way to Korea. I have 4 and a half hours left until I arrive in japan. Then 2 hours waiting and 2 hours flying. Then I'll be there. By the way, i'm writing this on the plane. I will post it later (probably after the night I get back).

Final hurdle: cat health certificate

Yesterday, Friday, I figured I would try to take out the last challenge before I go, which is to get a health certificate for Isis. My mom and I brought her to a pet clinic fairly near to home. It was really busy and it seemed kind of ghetto. I got the rabies shot on January 9th, which has to be at least 30 days old when I get to Korea. I'm leaving on the 7th and will arrive on the 8th. I was thinking I would change the date on the rabies shot so it appears to have been 30 days. I asked the doctor to doctor the rabies date on the health certificate. He refused. He also said they would check on the regulations for bringing a pet into Korea. We waited before seeing the doctor for about half an hour to 40 minutes. Then inside the office we waited at least 15 to 20 minutes while they supposedly looked up the information on the internet. The main thing I needed though was the health certificate. I told him if he couldn't change the rabies shot date then I would go somewhere else. So after some bad looks, we walked out of there. I was angry. It was a big waste of time. But at least my mom got some good shots of Isis sitting on my shoulders. Egyptian maus are known to be shoulder riders, and she definitely is that. By the way, there is a better picture with Isis on my shoulders, but her facial expression isn't flattering. But then again, I guess she looks a little freaked out in this picture too.

My plan was to finish everything I needed on Friday so I could go down to my friends' place on Friday night, spend the night partying, and hang out on Saturday. Then on Saturday evening I would go to my grandma's place to visit her for the night and hang out with her on Sunday. But now I had to wait on the health certificate. and I refused to wait until Monday because it's cutting it too close. So I made an appointment with another place for saturday about 11am. I decided to go down and party all night and then come back in the early morning to make it to the vet's. then go back down to visit my grandma.

So about 9:30 last night, I made my way down and had a gay time at the bars (and I don't mean happy). I got a few drinks and then went back to some friends place. I got to visit some other friends and my brother for the last time which is what made the trip worth it. Then this morning I drove back up to Riverside (where my parents live) and went to the vet.
Actually after discussing it with my parents, I realized that Feb 8 is, in fact, 30 days after Jan. 9 since there are 31 days in January. I decided just to use the real rabies receipt instead of my made up one. lucky thing too cuz they had to call the other vets where I got the rabies shot to get the serial number of the rabies vaccine that was given. So I got that all taken care of and now I'm cleaning a little and writing this blog before heading down to my grandma's. I only got about 2 hours of sleep if that, so I'm feeling like fainting here and there, but I think I'll get to sleep in tomorrow. So now I'm going to head down to my grandma's and tomorrow I'll hang out. Monday I think I'm going to buy another bag so I can fit everything for the trip. Then maybe sleep early or not at all. I have to leave for the airport about 3:30am. By the way, as long as I'm lounging here on the couch and typing this, I'll take one last picture of my view as I type this blog...

Visa retrieval

So like I said in my last post, the information I read on getting my working visa said, from the day that I submit my visa stuff to the school, it should take 5 to 10 days for Korea to process my visa request. Then I get a visa number which I take to the Korean Consulate here in the US, where it would take 3 - 5 days to process. On day 5 of the first wait, I had my visa number. Bam, alot faster than I thought. Then I took my visa application into the consulate here and it only took 24 hours.

So Yesterday, I went to the korean consulate to turn in my application, fee, passport sized photo and actual passport. Drove an hour there, and 2 hours back (traffic gets worse in the later afternoon). Then again today, I drove there to pick it up. I thought I was going to get a whole new booklet saying "Visa" on the outside or something. But instead I just got my regular passport back with a full page sticker on one of the pages inside describing my visa status. I was curious why I was supposed to leave my passport there. So I confirmed with the recruiter that I am indeed going to leave on early Tuesday morning about 6:30am and fly to Portland, Oregon where I will wait 4 hours and then fly to Japan, and finally to Korea. Kind of a long way to get there. I will be arriving in Korea about 9:15pm the next day. Of course, 9:15pm there is 4:15am my time. So basically the total trip is going to take about 22 hours. Actually, I don't mind waiting or taking such a long way at all personally.

But I'm worried about Isis. She's gonna be in that carrier pretty much the whole time. I dont know where I could really let her out. I think I will keep the body strap thing on her so I can put her on the leash just in case I do get the chance to let her out. But she's pretty timid as it is, so any sudden movements or noises in the airport could have her claws out in a frenzy if she was trying to run somewhere to hide. I will probably keep her in the carrier the whole time unless I can find some place private. The airlines policy says the pet must remain in the carrier and under the seat during the whole flight, so we'll see how that goes. And I'll have to figure out what I'm going to do about feeding her and taking her to the bathroom...

Visits

So, again in preparation for leaving, I took this last weekend to visit with friends and family. On Saturday night I went with my Grandma to the San Diego Zoo where we took the tour bus around the zoo and relaxed. It was really great.

Before going to the zoo, we went to the Fishhouse of Vera Cruz or something which is a seafood restaurant. and in the front section of the restaurant there is a counter with fish meat. There they have one sushi grade fish, hamachi, otherwise known as yellow tail.

After lunch, I got half a pound of the hamachi and brought it with me to the zoo. It was so great. We just sat on the bus, got taken around the zoo and I got to much down on raw yellow tail. Mmmmmmm so delicious~~
Then we hung out all night and watched some TV.

Then on Monday, I hung out with my Grandma for a little while longer and then headed over to my friend's house where we proceeded over to Sea World. By the way, I already had season passes to the zoo and sea world so it makes it a nice, easy, cheap way to spend an afternoon. It was monday, later in the afternoon, a little cloudy and there was almost no one there.
It was great for taking pictures. It was really easy to get right up to the dolphins to pet them. And there was absolutely no line to go on the water ride. I suppose it was a little cold, but it was still fun.
And then I took pictures all over the zoo. I think when I get the time, I will build up my real personal site and set up photo albums there, where I will put all of the pictures up. That's not me taking the picture of the dolphin by the way. Well it is me, but not me. Get it?

Anyway, it was a good time. Got to chill and pet some dolphins, stingrays, and horses. Fun stuff. By the way, I'm wet because of the water ride which we went on. There was actually a sign which said to keep your hands out, but I didn't see it until after saying hi to Roy the horse, in the picture. :) Once Seaworld closed, we headed over to Jimmy's house where we hung out for a few hours with his sister and talked and watched tv. I took the opportunity to take pictures together with them since I'll be leaving for a year so it'll be good to have some photo memories. We had a fun time with the photo shoot with plenty of gags and laughs while taking the pictures. Once we finished hanging out, I stopped by my grandma's place where we hung out until 3 in the morning when I finally made my way home. Now I'm making phone calls and trying to get all my business taken care of before I leave. Surprisingly enough, I already got my Visa number. They said 5 to 10 days, so I figured closer to 10, but it only took 5 days. So it looks like I may leave on Feb. 7 and arrive on Feb 8. That gives me one more weekend. I will try to finish all of my business over the next 2 days so I can hang out one last time before I leave. But things are getting very close! The only thing I'm worried about is having all arrangements necessary to bring Isis, my cat, with me. Otherwise everything should be in order. I do still have to sell my car though. I'll have to see if my parents will be willing to show it off for me.

preparations for leaving

Well, I finally moved out of my apartment and got my stuff to my parents house. At first my dad didn't want me to keep my stuff at their place so I was just going to rent a storage unit for 80 bucks a month or so. It wouldn't be so bad if I sell my car. My mom thought I could keep my stuff in the garage, but it would be packed in there in every available location. And my dad wasn't crazy about it. Then my mom thought I could get a storage shed and put it in their back yard. My dad was against it at first but I guess he agreed to it. That seemed like a good idea to me. I decided on a rubbermaid shed because it pops together so easily and I didn't want to spend alot of time putting one together. It also had the floor and wouldn't rust, etc.

So we put it together and I started putting everything in there. I haven't put everything in there yet, but I'm sure I'll have enough room. But it's an exciting feeling to have all of my stuff stored up into one little spot. I feel safe to go anywhere and do anything. The only big thing, besides my car which I'm going to most likely sell, that I have to take care of is my cat, Isis. And she's coming with me. That's a whole other issue, but she's my family now, so there's no way I'm giving her up.

new path.. or sidetrack

Well, I'm taking a new track. I think... 99% sure. I'm stopping with the software development, and I'm going to take a year break teaching english in Korea. It's a big step I guess. But I want to do something that I'll enjoy. I want to take a chance and do something for my pleasure. I hear it's tough, and I know I'll have problems and want to go home at least a few times. But I want to learn another language. And I want to experience another country. And I feel pretty safe with Korea because I have friends there and I love the food there. :) I am thinking about starting a new "blog" for the trip. I'm not sure what to call it yet though. I will be posting pictures and writing about my experience as often as I can or at least as often as I want to. hehe

human attractions

Ok, so I happen to be more attracted to dark haired, dark skinned people than other types. I have a weak spot in my heart for light brown skin and black hair and almond eyes. Some would think it's an asian fetish, as if it were something dirty or perverse. But physical attractions vary alot between people. The next best example is blonde with blue eyes. Some people are especially attracted to that. It's a physical trait, just like any other. What is wrong with being attracted to a certain physical trait? In the end, personality is what makes the deciding factor for keeping a relationship. Otherwise, he/she "is hot" is a reason for a shallow and generally short relationship. Either way, why is there a bad connotation for white people being attracted to asians? Is it just me or is there sometimes something seen as perverted or sick about that? On the flipside is there something bad about asians being attracted to white people or blonde hair, etc? why one and not the other? Why any of them if physical traits are acceptable as a reason for attraction?
Same goes for cultural traits. If you have experienced any cultures outside of your own local 20 to 2000 mile radius, you've probably realized that there are many different sets of values and traditions for various groups of people. Of course there are good and bad traits to any culture. I won't go too much into this except regarding traditional asian culture, which much stems from confucianism, respect, family and education tends to be regarded very high. In regards to the common connotation that women respect their men, subservient, etc goes, I don't care for it except for the respect part. I am a quiet respectful type of guy and I like a mutual want to please in my relationships. I am very turned off by competitive natures except to one's self.
I could fall in love with a girl from anywhere in the world if she had the qualities I look for mentally. My attractions, culturally, just happen to fall with something that is in line with certain asian cultures, and my particular physical attraction goes for physical traits which generally belong to asians (could also go for native american, eskimo, etc which all originate from one fork of homosapiens). So is something wrong with that? I don't think so. And if anyone does and is attracted to anything of any sort, then they are hypocrites.

personality type.

I am an INTP, more introverted than extroverted, and bordering (changing) from perceptory to judging, meaning I am becoming more organized...

INTP - "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Jung Ideal vs. Real Test Introversion |||||||||||||| 53% |||||||||||||||| 66% Extroversion |||||||||||||| 60% |||||||||| 40% Intuitive |||||||||||||||| 63% |||||||||||||||| 66% Sensing |||||||||||||| 53% |||||||||||| 46% Feeling |||||||||||||| 53% |||||||||||||| 56% Thinking |||||||||||||| 56% |||||||||||||| 56% Judging |||||||||||||||| 70% |||||||||||||| 53% Perceiving |||||||||||| 43% |||||||||||||| 53% ideal you |||||| real you |||||| ideal type - ENTJ, real type - INTP

Take Free Jung Ideal vs. Real Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

self evaluation

Due to a conversation from 'Anostica', I thought I would give self evaluation of my mental comparison to the general species of humans. I hope I don't sound biased in any way. I will try to say it as logically and unbiased as I can...
i would say i'm a fairly smart guy. MENSA (a group for geniuses) defines a genius as someone with an IQ above 140. In reality, genius is a subjective term because there are many different kinds of geniuses. Some people can remember better than others can. Some people are better auditory learners than others. I maintain mathematical and abstract spacial reasoning as a personal strength. I also maintain a logical (boolean) reasoning skill more than average. That skill could commonly be seen in people specializing in law. My auditory calculations (hearing things in my head or breaking down languages) are average. My social skills are less than average, or at least not as practiced due to the reason that social connections are created through common interests, of which i have uncommon. I am introverted and keep a small group of friends. I would say that I'm pretty selective with who I like to hang out with. Aside from my social acting, due to my empathetic skills, I am able to play therapist and personal councelor to my friends that's partly do to my logical side and my ability to put myself in others' shoes, which i also attribute to abstract spacial reasoning.

Life isn't that simple that one can put a simple linear measurement to intelligence. There are many specialized brains in this world. There are also many specialized interests. Everyone has many interests. For example, I like language, cooking, science, philosophy, science fiction, computer technology, business, nature and other things in certain unique ways like everyone has their own interests in their own unique ways.

Pockies

I am a green tea pocky. what kind are you? :)

You Are Green Tea Pocky

Your attitude: natural and zen Peaceful yet full of life. Deep and thoughtful. You're halfway to tantric bliss!

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

sexes and ladders

There is this ladder theory about guys and girls. I heard it first from a friend and then heard of a website from someone else. www.intellectualwhores.com
The theory says this: Guys have one ladder where they place women, like a scale system of who they would like to be with. And girls who are their friends are just too low or up on the scale where he was rejected or is in a waiting state and couldn't be with her. A girl meanwhile has two ladders. An attraction ladder and a friend ladder. Guys can start out on their attraction ladder, but can easily be moved from the attraction ladder to the friend ladder. But cannot be easily moved back. Now, that's logical if there's a reason someone decided they wouldn't be good together as a couple. But I see it differently. A guy does have 2 ladders just like the girl. I'm thinking a guy has a friend ladder. like someone he's not going to try for and he's just chill with having them as friends, he might even see them as someone he wouldn't want to get into a relationship for personality reasons or otherwise. the whole question of if they would still have sex with them is more of a seperate issue. The simple fact that in general, guys are physically seduced and girls are mentally seduced. And so a friend, unless they were really low on the friend ladder, who walked in their room naked, would probably have their way with the guy.
And I think there is a variety of ladders for both sexes really though more commonly found in guys. and that's a sex ladder or f*ck ladder. They know they're not interested in them as a relationship and might even have something they dislike about the other person's personality etc. But they are in it for hte game to have sex. and they just want to have sex. it's their main goal. So in short, they all have 3 ladders. friend ladders, relationship ladders and sex ladders. But because of how attraction works in males and females, sometimes a guy will hold a girl in his relationship ladder while she holds him in her friend ladder. That's because he's attracted to her in some way, possibly even just because he's horny. She might even be on his sex ladder if only for that case. there are varying degrees of coldness in hte sex to f*ck ladder. A girl is usually more concentrated on the relationship ladder which isn't as centered on physical attraction and for some reason or another, usually alpha male patterns which are psychological attractions. But for lack of a better interest a guy might hold on hope. Anyway I think there are enough females with sex ladders and enough guys with friends ladders to warrant the inclusion of those ladders for each sex into the theory.

webcam

Well I got a webcam today, which I've been wanting for some time, but now I dont really have anything to do with it. hooray for empty consumerism.

conditioning

I was thinking the other day how it's funny that human psychology is similar in many ways to other species of animals on this planet. And most of all,as most animals are, they are formed by being conditioned.
If you have a feeling of being grossed out by anything, it is most likely conditioning. If you don't like something and you know anyone else that might like it, you know it is your tastes which is your psychological affect of a certain taste and how you interpret the taste to be. People have had their tastes changed through other conditionings as well. The point is that tastes are usually limited by our own psychological barriers.
Foods usually come with association. People like things that give them good association and makes them feel happy or comfortable. Even subconciously, the like of a flavor can be linked probably to some association.
Of course, this is nothing new. So I'm just rambling.

dreams and bed

Does anyone else ever have a vivid or emotionally strong dream and wake up with a strong impression or feeling, and then forget about it and go through their day and forget about it, but then when they lay down in bed in the spot in the bed where they were dreaming, that dream comes back to them like a fresh memory? That happens to me sometime. Just wondering. :)

Ducks and Octopi

I love octopus. I love the taste of fresh raw octopus. I even had octopus live once. I loved it. Tastes sooo delicious. And I dont think there's anything gross or bad about it. Eating animals is part of nature's intentions. All animals eat, and carnivores and omnivores eat other animals. We are omnivores. All part of the universe's grand intentions.

The reason I talk about this is because the conversation came up between anostica and I. She doesn't share the same affinity with the natural laws of the universe that I do. :)

I want to experience everything I can and experience them with an open mind. I might like some things that wouldn't seem obvious as enjoyable things. Many taboos in cultures are common practices in other cultures. Having an open mind allows me to see that one taboo isn't necessarily right over the views of another culture. There are a few examples, I have. One would piss many people off and is a common taboo among many cultures. That taboo is incest. Being objective, I see the logic of not wanting incest to be practiced. It has been shown that breeding within a family can cause genetic defects. That's interesting really, and I dont understand how that happens exactly. But the point is, I don't feel any subjective feelings over the matter. Of course if I saw a brother/sister sexual relationship, I would think it was abnormal, which it usually is, but I don't have a judgemental feeling about it. I don't really care. Just like I dont care if people are gay. Some people have judgemental feelings about that too. Anything that people think is wrong that doesn't harm people is usually cultural and often illogical. Nature is chaos. Gay people are attracted to people of the same sex. They just are. That's how the brains are wired. If they're happy, good for them. Ok, I'm going off on a tangent. I was talking about foods. When I went to Korea, I had dog meat at a restaurant. To be honest, it was just ok. A bit too stringy for my tastes. But my point is that it's a taboo in this culture and some others. But to think so judgementally on it is being closed minded and simple. Cows are holy creatures by some, and we eat them like there's no tomorrow. So if we expect to damn people who eat dogs, then we should expect to be damned by eating cows.
Ducks came up in our conversation because she got sick after eating ducks. She thinks she could eat chickens but doesn't have the enzymes to break down duck meat. But I think they have similar enough bodies that the enzymes are so different. I think she just got food poisoning.

Oh well. Enjoy life. Make every day count.